i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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