Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
