you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
