You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
