please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
