He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
