He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
