I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I will be naked everywhere
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
