It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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