Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
