Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
