What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
