the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
