wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
