he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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