Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
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Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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