trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
