Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize