So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
