I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
