So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
