Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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