his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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