I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
