I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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