1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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