i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
