I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Randomize
