You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
