we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is my gift to your gina
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
