glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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