I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
