And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
