just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
