you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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