can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
