You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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