She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
