The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize