He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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