so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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