he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
