I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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