Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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