As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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