so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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