STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
