There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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