i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
