I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My penis needs a shock collar
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
