I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My balls are so social today.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
