Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
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Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
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A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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