he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
