No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
