This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize