i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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