I think I won the penis lottery.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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