eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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