It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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