he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
