So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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